Uncanny X-Men 413

After a long absence, I'm back, for what feels like the hundredth time... I'm going to fall back on the cliched "life got in the way" excuse again. Plus, well, my own personal laziness.

I figured I jump right back into my issue-by-issue musings on Chuck Austen's run. I just recently reread Jay Faerber's Generation X run, as I wanted to read something X-Men related before I went to see Days of Future Past (excellent movie, by the way). That lead to me reading the Brian Wood/Warren Ellis run that followed on the book, which lead to me wanting to read the Bill Jemas "Nu-Marvel" era of the main X-Men books, specifically Uncanny and New X-Men. I just recently started Austen's run on Uncanny, and it's amazing how much it contrasts with Casey's run, having now read all of Casey's run. Chad Nevett's already said all that needs to be said about Casey's work on the title over on his Graphicontent blog, but I do want to say that the contrast between Casey's high-concept work and Austen's more workman-like approach is startling and refreshing. Casey spends about a year of issues rehashing old ideas and tropes (and I have to agree with Mr. Nevett, I think some of this was intentional) before doing a pair of issues and an annual that read like an ad for his Wildcats comics. Meanwhile, Austen tries a back to basics approach, with the emphasis on interpersonal dynamics. While he gets mixed results over the course of his run, it does pay off for him a lot more often than it did Casey.

So, without further ado, my thoughts on this issue:

First of all, I want to say that not hiring Sean Phillips full time on Uncanny X-Men was a HUUUUUGE missed opportunity. After having read Casey's Wildcats plus his Uncanny issues (man, this Casey guy keeps popping up in my post...), I have to wonder how different this period of Uncanny would turned out had he been the main artist on the book. Maybe Casey would have put a little more effort into his run if he'd gotten to work with the artist that he wanted, maybe his run would have been longer I wouldn't be writing these posts? Knowing now that Marvel assigned more "traditional" artists to Casey, despite his protests, makes me wonder if that might have inspired the overuse of cliches in his run. Whatever the case, Phillips is a great storyteller, and he does a more than decent job on this issue. It's easy to read, and the body language and facial expressions of the characters are especially well done.

Another thing that I liked was having Annie narrate the issue. Austen does keep overusing the same lines with her narration, but it does help set up what I think is a nice last-page reveal. Whatever ultimately ends up happening with Annie's character, she does have some potential as the bigoted mother of a mutant living at the X-Mansion. It's certainly a lot more interesting than her Florence Nightingale thing with Havok. Speaking of Havok and Annie, they're the source of another scene I really enjoyed in this issue, which also involves Charles Xavier. Now, I'm a big Xavier fan, so a lot of things I absolutely hate have happened to him in the past decade or so. Having a scene that establishes how much Xavier cares about his students, his fellow mutants, his coexistence philosophy, and how much his own failings hurt him is something that I appreciated,, because these scenes will be come few and far between in the not too distant future. It's a well-executed scene that gives a good glimpse of everything you need to know about Xavier, while also setting up Havok's return to the X-Men. The last thing that I really liked was Juggernaut. Seriously, every time he shows up in the issue, he's just plain entertaining; there's even a disappointing scene where he helps make it just a little more bearable (which I'll get to later). Overall, this Lobdell-esque quiet issue (with its emphasis on interpersonal dynamics, characterization, and Xavier) is probably the best work Austen's don on this series so far. That's not to say he's perfect though.

As I said, there's a particularly disappointing scene, which involves Angel, Husk, and Stacy X. I know Austen has said in interviews that he wanted to bring back some of the Claremont's soap opera elements to the title, however he goes a bit too far with this cat-fight scene. That's really the best way I can describe it. It's a bit less than that though, and Austen's goal is admirable; here, he's trying to better establish a plot point Casey may have hinted at slightly, which is an Angel/Stacy X romance, while also bringing in Husk as a third element. He tries to develop Stacy X by having her reveal her jealousy, and while all of the dialogue itself is well-executed (in addition to the art), Stacy and Husk, a newcomer to the series, are essentially fighting over a man. Knowing about the claims of sexism against Austen, it's hard to ignore this blatant attempt at the cliched love-triangle, and the whole thing reads a little too much like an exaggerated, cartoonish attempt at doing a Days of Our Lives plot. Also, knowing where Austen eventually takes Angel's love life doesn't help this scene either.

Still, the issue is pretty good for Austen. I don't want to say it's all downhill from here, as I've read similarly good issues of his run that are later in the series. I'll get to them eventually, but so far, so good.

Uncanny X-Men 412

This issue concludes the first arc of Austen's run, and it's pretty much of the same quality as the past two - somewhere slightly north of mediocre overall, with some small exceptional bits. This issue is also the first to feature a highly-stylized anime cover, in this case it's a rather striking image of Nightcrawler. The linework is decent, but it's the coloring that really makes it stand-out - it looks like it came straight out of a Madhouse production. I wish I could find out who did this and the following three covers, as they're all pretty good looking and their personal style is slick. Speaking of art though, Ron Garney kind of phones it in with this one. The layouts are fine, it's just that the detail lines from the first two issues aren't there and the characters start looking bland and lumpy. It doesn't ruin the issue, but it's disappointing after he started off so well.

As for the story, there's nothing much to say about it. The X-Men regroup with Xavier and fight off Black Tom. There's some good action bits that take advantage of the team's powers and show them off, plus Stacy X doesn't come off as annoying (she's still a chore to put up with, but not as much; I'm glad she's leaving the book soon). The real bright spot in this issue is, once again, the Juggernaut. We get a couple of very well-written scenes where Juggs has to face his oldest friend (who now sees him as an enemy), and his longest and most hated nemesis (who will from now on be his ally). You can see how much it breaks Cain's heart to turn on Tom, and the passive aggressive tone he takes with Charles makes his scenes with him a real treat. Austen just gets Cain; from the dialogue, to the emotion, motivation, etc. - it's solid character work, and it'll be one of the things that keeps me reading as things get... weirder. There's also the denouement with Juggs getting rescued by Fishboy, convincing him to stay with Xavier. It's a decent scene, and an important one that sets up the two characters' friendship, but it comes off as a little sappy.

And speaking of sappy, we get more Annie in this issue. Like I said, i don't mind her; in fact, Austen actually gives he some strong moments, but that comes in later arcs. Right now she comes off as a bit of a psycho with her obsession with Alex, but I guess I can see how if you were feeling lonely and you were spending all this time around a coma patient, you might start talking to them and develop an attachment. It's still weird, but I guess I can understand it. I can admire Austen trying to work in a strong single mother character, plus the logic that he puts forth for why she's not a misogynistic character makes sense(basically everybody can be lonely, everybody wants someone, it's not limited to just men or women). Also, I do like the bit where she tells Scott that Alex will still need a nurse - it's a solid 9-panel grid page that works as a storytelling device. I just love the craft side of that scene.

Anyways.... This arc wasn't a bad way to start a run. Like any writer starting on the X-Men, his first story had some flaws, but you have to give the guy time to find his feet. The story also had some strong points, and he set up some promising subplots that he will pay off down the road, which is more than I can say for some past X-Men writers.

Uncanny X-Men 411

This is part two of Austen's first arc, and it's a step up in some ways from the last issue, and continues to plant more seeds that Austen will get some decent material out of down the road.

The biggest positive development has to be Juggernaut's introduction. He was teased on the last page of the previous issue, but we get to see him in full glory here and man, is it good. Out of all the characters Austen has written, Cain is probably the one he had the best grasp of. The issue starts off with a classic comic book "misunderstanding" fight between the wounded X-Men and Juggs, and not only do we get some decent action out of the scene, but also some legitimately funny/bad-ass banter between the two groups (and once again, Garney draws the crap out of this). We then are introduced to the true threat, and that is Cain's longtime ally and friend, Black Tom, who last time we saw him was slowly being take over by his plant powers. At this point, he's gone full-on plant, and it's actually an interesting development which I like because it builds on established continuity. We also see just how much of a friend Juggs is to Tom, as we see some touching moments of concern from him for his friend and that he was willing to go to his most hated enemies for help.It's very strong work with the character, and a good sign that things won't completely suck as Austen's run goes on.

That said, the issue also plants the seed for one of the more... eccentric character arcs, which is the introduction of Annie Ghazikhanian and the return of Havok. Now, this isn't to say this is a purely bad development, but we will get some weird moments out of these characters down the road, to say the least. There are some good things about this development though; for one, I never liked the way Marvel removed Havok from the rest of the X-Men, so at least now Austen is working him back into the mix of things, which will at least make him available to other writers down the road. Also, I like Annie; I know a lot of people hate on her, but, while she has some truly terrible moments, she does get used pretty well as the non-mutant POV character in this run, pointing out just how crazy the X-Mens' lives are to these people who've gotten way too used to the insane things that go on around them. Also, she's a pretty unique character as a single mom raising her kid around meta-humans (she might just be the only one in comics...), and is even more interesting now that I know Austen grew up with a single mom. Still, the Florence Nightengale syndrome she displays here is a little disturbing and cliched, plus the bit with Alex's picture showing up in the newspaper she's reading is contrived as all hell. Also, Stacy X continues to be whiny and annoying in fights. Even with these flaws, though, it's a solid issue that advances the story and sets up some important subplots.

Uncanny X-Men 410

So there's been a bit of a delay with the X-Men Year in Review post, but I should have that up soon. In lieu of that, here's the beginning of my issue-by-issue review of Chuck Austen's X-Men run.

I have to say, I rather liked this issue. It gets by a lot on the "Lobdell Quiet Issue" template, with the Squid-boy scenes, and as an introduction to a new character, it's not bad. I actually like how Austen plays him up as this kid who's in total awe of the X-Men and how Xavier is a genuinely decent person. After years of people shitting on his character, it's nice to go back and read these stories where he's not a total jerk. There's also some legitimately funny dialogue bits in the X-Jet (once again, more quiet issue stuff), and the fact that we don't see the "villain" of the story until the last page is impressive, especially when you take into account where Austen will eventually go with the character. This is his first issue, and the conflict of the story centers on a new character and an unseen enemy; this was a bit of a gamble, and I think it works. It also helps that Ron Garney drew the issue, and at this point he's got a bit of an Kubert Brothers look, which I really like. He's usually better with action heavy plots, but he doesn't drop the ball with the quieter, dramatic bits going on here.

Now that I've talked up the good stuff, it's time to get down to what doesn't work so well. First, there's the fact that Austen really seems to gloss over the fact that Squid-boy was contemplating shooting up his school. He manages to sell pretty well his motivation, but then it's dropped pretty quickly once Xavier shows up. There's also the scene after the X-jet crash that are way too melodramatic. It's not necessarily terrible, so it doesn't ruin the issue, but this kind of melodrama a pretty good example of one of Austen's more annoying traits and a sign of what's to come. Still, as debuts go, it's a solid story. Nothing to write home about, but still enjoyable.

Inhuman and Joe Madureira

So yeah, I'm not excited about this to say the least. Now, don't get me wrong, I love Mad's work and I'll be picking up this Inhumanity tie-in, but I'm not expecting much out of this besides some awesome pencils. I'm only supporting this series because I'm hoping Marvel gets the message that it's worth it to them to make it worth Joe's while to continue penciling their comics. Also, I haven't seen much about this mini besides the creative teams, that it's the main tie-in to the upcoming crossover, and it's supposed to feature the important stuff that can't fit into Inhumanity. Based off the cover of the first issue, I expect it will focus on the new Inhumans that are supposed to be popping up during the crossover. Other than that, I have no idea what it's going to be about.

I also figure, based off the recent work Mad has done on Savage Wolverine (and Avenging Spider-man a while before that), it'll be 3-4 issues long. I like this, since it's not a huge investment on my part to get the whole thing, and it'd be short enough that there shouldn't be delays (however, I wouldn't be shocked if we still had delays). I could also see them releasing a new issue every two months, which would make for an easier schedule on Joe and it would wrap up around the same time as Inhumanity (which I expect to last around 7-8 issues). When it comes to positives about Inhuman, I've listed all of mine, which doesn't bode well.

As for negatives? Well, there's the fact that Fraction doesn't have a good track record with crossover events, to say the least (remember Fear Itself? Yeah, I've tried repressing my memories of it too). This isn't even the actual event mini, either, this is a tie-in which means it clearly isn't as high a priority for him as Inhumanity is. Now, maybe I'm biased, but when you manage to get what might just be the best artist currently working in the industry on your payroll, you don't assign him to a tie-in that will be written by a guy with higher priority projects from a genre he kind of sucks in. It's a waste of talent.

Then you have the fact that the concept for this event is pretty weak too. Basically, Fraction is turning the Inhumans into the mutants. So not only did Fraction have to have a terrible run on Uncanny X-Men that almost killed the franchise (sales for Second Coming aside; what worked about that crossover came entirely from the other writers' chapters), but he now has to steal their shtick for his event? So what will happen to the X-Men as a metaphor for minorities/oppressed/disgruntled youth now that the Inhumans will be given a big push with that as their main subtext? Oh, because the Inhumans have a royalty aspect, that apparently changes everything. Yup, totally different. If Fraction couldn't write the X-Men, how is adding a king and a queen going to change that? And on a side note, way to go Marvel, you've managed to go and undercut what should be your flagship franchise. Again.

Finally, there's the compatibility factor - what about Joe Madureira made Marvel think Matt Fraction? The fact that they've both worked on Uncanny at some point? That Salvador Larroca (Fraction's main collaborator on his Iron Man run), at one point, used to have a bit of an anime-inspired look? Seriously, I'm not sure I could think of two creators least suited for each other. Joe Madureira is an anime guy, he draws explosive, dynamic action sequences that just don't show up in Fraction's scripts. Madureira has drawn padded issues before, but they were padded with some amazingly choreographed fights (padding which, in comics, is ok). Joe can also do quiet character moments and talking heads, but he works best when he's able to write mostly action, with enough quiet moments and dialogue to keep things from getting monotonous. This is why he worked so well with Zeb Wells - he was a good writer who could make the scripts uniquely his while also writing to Joe's strengths.

On the other hand, Fraction only seems to write pointlessly dragged out conversation scenes that a) don't have any of the characters actually in character, b) they don't contribute anything to the character, and c) they don't contribute jack to the plot. Fraction may just be the worst offender of writing for the trade. Don't get me wrong, when done right writing for the trade can work, but Fraction's mainstream work exemplifies all of the flaws with that style while having none of its positive attributes. This mini is most likely going to be 90% unnecessary dialogue exchanges, 9% actually relevant/important dialogue, and 1% what Joe does best (so basically, Fraction's going to take several issues to tell a story that could be much better done in 10 pages). Now, I'm all for getting people to work outside their comfort zone as it gets them to improve their craft, but Joe already puts out very little work - why can't he just what he's good at? Fraction's the one who could stand to hone his craft quite a bit more, plus he writes multiple books a month; it's not as big a deal for him to write outside his comfort zone, since he can do one book that way and the rest of his books can be done more to his strengths.

And here's the thing - he might be doing that. Fraction might actually change his style up to suit a superstar like Joe Madureira. I'm all about giving the creators the benefit of the doubt (except Greg Land. Fuck that guy), so I'm willing to give Fraction another shot. I know this sounds like BS, but I really want Fraction to succeed with this. I don't actively wish for a creator to bomb, I want good stories, especially when they feature artwork from my favorite penciller of all time. It would be great to not only buy more Madureira drawn comics, but for those comics to also be a half-way decent read. I've listed my concerns going into this story, but I'm hoping Fraction will surprise me.

Chuck Austen and other comics tomfoolery

I know this has happened before, but I'm back after a long hiatus from this blog. Life managed to get in the way again, though hopefully this time I won't stop posting after a week. Like last time, I have plan for how I'm going to put up regular content, and I'm hoping this will give me incentive to stick around.

Basically, I'd like to examine a topic no one seems to have touched in a while, and that is Chuck Austen's X-Men run. Like Liefeld, the internet loathes him and I don't really understand why. I constantly see his name brought up as the one guy that makes Lobdell's run look decent, which is odd to me because not only am I a huge fan of Lobdell's X-Men work (especially the Joe Madureira issues and Generation X), but from the scattershot issues of Austen's run, I didn't think he was that bad either. His work clearly had flaws, but he did get some things right: Juggernaut joining the team, Fishboy, he brought Havok back into the fold, he worked with some talented artists and he had a pretty good grasp of dialogue.

Specifically on the artists point, he was the one guy who seemed to see the direction pop-culture was going in at the time, which was anime and manga. I'm a huge Joe Madureira fan, so I love the blend of X-Men and anime/manga. Seeing a writer make the attempt to bring that look back by working with artists who either had a background in it or had a style reminiscent of it gets a huge plus in my book (it also helped that the artwork these guys produced was, in my opinion, very good).

However, my assessment hasn't even taken into account the context of the times in which these issues were released. From the time Austen took over until he left was also around the same time of the anime explosion in the United States. I was a die-hard Toonami and Shonen Jump fan, both of which I believed reached their peak viewership and readership from around '02 through '06 or so.  You can't deny that both of those venues took something whose primary audience in the US were kids and cult fans, and turned it into a pop-culture phenomena for a while. Austen, who is also a fan of the genre, saw this and tried to tap into this market by applying it to the X-Men. It had worked before with Madureira, plus the X-Men as a concept are much more open to a wide variety of interpretations than any other comics franchise (it's part of why I like them so much - there's so much you can do with them and it still feels like X-Men), so I'm shocked that it didn't really catch on. I'd much rather see the UDON-style Salvador Larocca of Austen's X-Men v2 issues doing art on Cable and X-Force than the Larocca that drew Fraction's bloated Iron Man run.

Austen was, I believe, a man that was much smarter and more talented than people give him credit for. I'm not saying he was on the level of Aaron, Morrison or Claremont, but there is a huge disconnect between the reputation his run has garnered and the actual quality of that run. I have recently come into possession of the issues of his that I'm missing, and it's given me the idea to do a series of reviews on this highly controversial run. I'm hoping that by reviewing it on an issue by issue basis, I can maybe do something to remedy this.

Before that though, I'd like to put up my thoughts on the past year or so of the past years worth of X-Men books and my take on the news that Joe Madureira will be drawing the new Inhuman mini-series; I'd like to get those posts up by the end of the week, but who knows if I'll get around to it? Part of the reason I'm doing this is because right now I'm at school and I don't have access to the issues I'd need to start doing my reviews.  The other part is that I have a lot to say about the current X-Men books and good ol' Joe Mad. Once I have those topics out of the way, I want to get down to business.

I'll be back soon.

Comics Pitch #2 - Spider-Clone Boogaloo

I’ve never understood why characters are killed off. Well, that’s not true; I understand why, what I don’t understand are the reasons used to justify it – drama, cheap pathos, sales, etc. My feeling is, if the character’s not worth keeping around, then killing them isn’t going to mean shit to the reader, and if they are worth keeping them around, then keep them around. Why kill off a character you can tell more good stories with. Especially with corporate owned characters, this bugs me; just because the current writer on the book can’t think of anything to do with the character doesn’t mean the next writer won’t. So a lot of the reasoning for my first pitch was to create an environment at Marvel that could remedy these problems.

The first two characters I thought to bring back this way were two characters I thought were horribly wasted just because a writer wanted to make way for a different love interest and another that was killed as some kind of twisted penance for a well-meaning storyline that got out of hand because of overzealous marketing executives. I am of course talking about Gwen Stacy and Ben Reilly, the last real sacred cow of dead characters and a cult favorite that is till reviled by at least half of Spider-man fans. Already I can see that I’m losing you, but please give me a chance to explain. These were two characters killed WAAAAAY before their time, with countless stories left to tell with them. With them also exists a way to get back the early 70s status quo Joey Q is so in love with, without requiring Peter Parker to regress as a character.

Let’s get to the Spider-clone first, since he is the driving force for all of this. He’s Peter minus all the continuity baggage, but twice the emotional baggage, which is what we all love. We like to see things go bad for Peter, but like with Charlie Brown and the football, the gag gets old. If you’ve seen it once, you’ve seen it a million times, and at some point, he has to kick that football. Peter did get to do this by becoming a member of Horizon Labs, and hopefully he’ll be back there when this Superior Spider-man experiment is over. He’s a great fit there, and having him there for Ben’s tenure as Spider-man will be vitally important. Back to Ben, he’s a guy who’s been on the road for so long that it makes sense his version of settling down would be getting an apartment, get a day job, and start dating. After being a nomad for so long, Peter’s life circa 1970 probably seems like heaven.

So here’s what happened to Ben instead of dying:

Basically, rip of the end of the Clone Saga mini from a couple of years back; instead of dying, Ben survives the encounter with Norman Osborne and goes on the road again to process all the shit he’s been through since coming back into Peter’s life. This time, instead of brooding about finding his own life and what it means for him to be a clone like he did in the Lost Years, he’s just trying to find something that fits for him. This gives Marvel an excuse to do another Lost Years series and they can let J.M DeMatteis write it. This is a bittersweet journey for him; yes, he’s the clone again, but he starts to realize that it doesn’t matter, because he’s got a family now with his brother Pete back in New York and he has a chance to reconcile with Kaine. He’s a human being with his own emotions and desires, now he just needs to find a purpose. He checks in with Peter every now and then over the phone, and maybe even retcon in some team-ups they had when he occasionally came back to New York for a visit.

After this journey, though, he comes to the inevitable conclusion that he has to go home and do what he was always meant to do – become Spider-man. New York is his home, it will always be his home, there’re just too many good memories there to outweigh the bad and it’s where the closest thing he ever had to brother lives. Also, being a hero is in his blood; as he said in the Lost Years, they may have been Peter’s memories, but he can’t help but be inspired by Uncle Ben’s words of wisdom. He needs to be a hero. So at a time when Peter’s back is against the wall, he’s getting broken down by his responsibilities as an Avenger, a Horizon Labs technician (perhaps he gets promoted to head up the new York office while the founder sets up a new lab in LA?), and Spider-man to the point he’s Batman in Knightfall, Ben returns to shoulder some weight. Maybe he could show up to save Pete’s bacon from the Sinister Six?

After Ben gives Peter a reprieve, perhaps replacing him in all his appearances for a couple months while Peter heals from a particularly gruesome wound incurred during the battle where he needed a rescue, Peter realizes something – he can’t be Spider-man forever. At some point, he’s going to have to hang up the webs. He’s done his best to honor Uncle Ben’s memory, but at a certain point he can create a better legacy by focus his talents elsewhere, like improving society with his lab work. He can feel a lot less guilty about this if he knows someone will pick up his superhero slack, so he asks Ben, who gladly agrees, sporting that awesome Dan Jurgens designed costume (if you don’t like it, then fuck you I say). This doesn’t mean Ben takes over completely; no, that would cause a fan outcry and it’s unnecessary when you have a better alternative. Peter continues to be Spider-man, but in a smaller capacity; instead of being on the Avengers, he web-swings around town stopping street-level crime during his free time outside of work and interacting with his own supporting cast. Ben takes to the Avengers and fighting all the classic Spidey foes on a daily basis, because it gives his life meaning and he enjoys it.

How is he able to do all this? Because he gets paid to be Spider-man, specifically he gets paid for the pictures he takes. That’s right, the Daily Bugle is back (in some capacity), and JJJ is heading it up again after a distinguished couple of terms as mayor. His credentials get the financial support and investors needed to get the newspaper off the ground. He needs staff though, and one position he needs to fill is staff photographer. He calls up Peter, not to offer him a job (he can’t after Peter doctored those photos), but to see if he knows anyone who would be adequate for the job. And besides, Peter is much happier at HL. However, he does suggest Ben; after all, he has experience and he would be a nice fit there. Peter vouches for Ben in order to get the position, and now we have the classic supporting cast back. We can get some drama, too, because while Ben has memories of these people, they have no memories of him. This makes things awkward for a while as he tries to settle in.

And as he settles in, he rediscovers his passion for photography, something he didn’t realized he missed until he got the chance to do it again. While he is good at inventing things, he doesn’t really have the credentials for science work, and besides, that’s Peter’s thing now. He’s the accomplished scientist; Ben would rather make it at his own thing. Peter tried a stab at being a professional photographer but it never took because his passion was always science. Ben didn’t get to do that much with science when he was on the road, it became a hobby for him, something he tinkered with when he had spare time and equipment. Now that he’s Spider-man full-time, he has many more opportunities to take pictures too, and hone his craft. The more he does it, the more he likes it. Plus, he’s not just getting photos of Spider-man, he’s getting photos of the Avengers, the Fantastic Four, etc. He covers by this for being the Daily Bugle’s official superhero paparazzo; his hero buddies cover for him by saying they let Ben tag along to take pictures after he signed a waiver. Boom – plothole covered.

I’ve covered Ben, but what about Ms. Stacey? I don’t have as much for her because I’ve just recently gotten into her character from reading the Marvel Masterworks ASM collections, unlike Ben Reilly, who I’ve been a fan of for a while and been thinking about things to do with his character for a couple of years now. But I do have ideas.

For one, we’re going to say the whole Sins Past thing never happened; it’s lame and unnecessary, so it can go. Instead, we’re going to revamp her character a bit, adapting traits from the Spectacular Spider-man cartoon and the Amazing Spider-man movie. These are good adaptations of her character, adding an intellectual and girl-next-door aspect that makes her more Peter’s type, only she won’t be dating Peter (I’ll get into that in a second). We’re going to say she was studying particle physics at ESU, and after a traumatic experience where Peter was just barely able to save her from the Green Goblin, she graduated and went to Bern to work as an assistant at the collider. She partly left for her career, but also because she found out Peter’s secret and the shock was too much for her. She was going to try to make it work, but Peter decided to go noble on her; he broke it off, seeing that it made her uneasy being with the man she’d blamed for her father’s death for so long and that being around him, knowing his identity may put her in harm’s way. She became a distinguished scientist through her work at the collider, and while both her and Peter moved on, they still have some lingering feelings for each other. This makes sense, they were each other’s first loves.

She returns to New York when Max offers her a position at Horizon, coming back into Peter’s life at a time when he’s getting back with MJ; she’s a bit sick of the jet-setting life and Peter is trying to wind down his superhero career, it’s the perfect time to start again. While Gwen can create some romantic tension, ultimately Peter has to choose MJ because they have so much more history and despite the fact that he’ll always love Gwen, he did move on. His relationship with MJ was robbed from him, she was the one he was always meant to end up with.

This doesn’t mean she won’t be dating a Parker; no, there’s going to be some attraction between her and Ben. He’s always visiting Pete at work, asking for tips on fighting villains, getting tech support for new web-shooter stuff and one off-suits, and just to hang out in general. While there, he runs into Gwen, someone he still has feelings for because of Peter’s memories. Meanwhile, to Gwen, he’s just like the Peter she remembers – quippy, but still a bit of a loner. Where he differs from Pete is that he’s a lot more worldly, plus he’s got an alternative rocker thing going on that we’ll say she finds sexy (and who doesn’t?). He’s essentially a single artist living in the city, and he’s got a glamorous thing going on as the high-profile photographer of everything spandex in NYC. With the two of them, you have what was going on between MJ and Peter in the old days, the scientist and the celebrity, only the roles are reversed.

Now, I don’t want to pull a Silver Age Superman Red/Superman Blue; no, Gwen’s going to have some competition. Matt Murdock was able to get Elizabeth Tyne off the hook by proving what she did was in self-defense, and she’s ready to come back to NYC and pick up where her and Ben left off. Felicia Hardy becomes taken with this new Spider-man who seems to prefer the webs to his civilian life; this is a Spider-man more to her taste, and Ben, who is trying to remain single while he figures himself out, isn’t going to mind her constant flirting since he knows she’s open to a less traditional relationship. I haven’t figured out which way I’d like to go with all of these potential love interests yet, but there’s a whole realm of interesting possibilities by playing them off one another.

So there it is, my Spider-man pitch. You could easily get three Spider-man books out of the deal: ASM, which would cover Peter and his fellow scientists at Horizon. He can hang out with Gwen and MJ, plus Ben would show up once in a while, too. You’d get Spider-man, which would cover Ben’s exploits as a hero, plus his love life and shenanigans at the Daily Bugle. Finally, you’d get Spectacular Spider-men, a book that is all about Ben and Peter hanging out, being brothers, stopping crime together and talking shop while they grab some coffee at the Daily Grind. Not too shabby, I’d say; when it comes to the Retcon Two-Step, I’m a tap-dancing fool.